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Saturday, April 14, 2007
Went back school yesterday even im worn out. Gotta carry so many stuff around yet i still went. The reason i went was because Maria took the effort & tried to be our middleman & asked both me & Tam to sort things out. In the end?? I never see any sight of HER!!! If she doesnt want to clarify, she shouldnt have agreed & MIA.. Worst still left my precious time!! Heard them saying that she got something on & will be there. But hey!! I waited for 4hrs!!! She never even bother to text Maria when she's not coming. Even if its really that important that she cant make it, she should have at least text someone & i wouldnt be like a fool waiting for her! They were told that there were trainings & Maria took a cab & rush to down but in the end, there was no training at all!! People commented that im irresponsible, but are they themselves??
Anyway, i dont think they really care whether or not about my presence. If they care, they would have asked me to stay instead of keeping mum or saying " wednesday, u wanna come u come lor. If not, its up to u.." How would you feel if u heard that?? I did not have that intention of not turning up for training on Wed but upon hearing that, i felt im so useless.. Its not about team spirit or whatever shit that made me feel like quitting, its just a feeling that i have ever since there seems to be no team spirit. . If when i say i feel like quitting, i'll quit, i guess i'll no longer be in the team way before Open House. Im not the only saying that.. Alot of them too commented that they wanted to quit & some with the same reason. In fact when i said im not performing, i did thought of helping them for the last time or rather if they need me. Just a request from them, i'll be there again. Except for af ew who cares, no1 ever bother.
People complained about me this & that. Complained that i have many requests.. But did anyone ever noticed that im not the ONLY ONE who wanted them. Its just that NO ONE wanted to voice out & im the only one voicing out & in the end, it became all my fault, so troublesome & insisted on this & that. Bloody hell!! They adviced to voice out anything that anyone is not happy at but after voicing out, did any1 listen??? Even if they did, its really depends on which matter he/she want to do.
I just merely want the team to be like before & try to help whatever i can. But instead i got blamed. Blame me for my kaypo-ness!! Yeah!! No point crying but im only crying for myself & not anyone else!! I guess i really have to put down everything on my mind.. What for think of how they will do for their performance & hoping they'll do well for such a rush routine coz of me. Hoping that YJ will go up all & stunts & not wear her out. Why the hell am i thinking about all this?? Its not worth it at all!! I shouldnt even have thought of helping out & i regretted postponing my Lasik coz of the performance. It seems that all ive put in has come to a naught.
She Blogged
11:16 PM