Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Thought i wouldnt feel anything & can take it easily as ive sort of made up my mind but as im walking out of the school, my tears just flow down so uncontrollably.. My mind was flashing through the times i had in cheer, the fun i had, the friends ive made, the stunts ive learnt & many others. I simply love cheerleading!
I knew i would be upset if i quit but i did not expect myself to cry & to cry over Vesper. I know i would be happier if i stayed but just felt that our team spirit isnt there anymore, more & more conflicts are setting in, im no longer as happy as b4 & with every minor thing that occur, just make me upset, demoralised & lost hope in it. Since that day that im hurt so thoroughly & burst into tears, ive struggled to made this decision.
I may appear strong but in fact im very vunerable at heart. To people i treasure, things i love, i would definately sob for them but little did i know that i love cheer to the extend that i have actually made it part of my life!
Friday, Ive already taken off to prepare to for for training, so i'll just find some stuff to do to keep myself occupied. I know i'll definately be in a lost on Wednesday as im so used to going for trainings. I know my tears would just roll whenever i thought of it.. So i kept telling myself that:
1) Just take it as a break/rest.
Since i'll not be free every weekday, now its the perfect time for me to rest.
2) Since they ever mentioned that there are too many flyers & too few bases
This shall be the best for the team as now there's 1 flyer less so at least there'll be
enough bases i guess.
3) At least ive once fulfilled my dream as a cheerleader.
4) Ive made great friends & learnt alot there so its worthwhile.I need to study for things ive learnt today for tmr test but i couldnt focus!! My mind just kept thinking about alot of things & i cant concentrate!! What should i do? I dont wanna fail the test as i dont know if it will affect my internship or not. But i just couldnt concentrate!! Can someone pls advice me??
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