Thursday, December 28, 2006

Went for my Lasik happily yesterday.. But before i proceeded to the surgery, the doctor made a check on me. *Shaking her head*" Your cornea is not clear, you cant do it today." Argh!! The day i've been waiting & kept postponing due to the NEA performance & now after 3mths, i still havent got it done!! Gosh!! Was so dissappointed.. Thought i could have perfect eyesight after the term break but i still got to continue with my glasses day.. NO contact lenses at all due to my blepharitis.. Argh!! Why must i got this kinda infection for nothing!! Its itchy, its painful at times & worst!! It affect my surgery! Let's not talk about it.. Shall wait for another month to see how well my infection is treated.

Went to training reluctantly.. As i had already planned to miss the trainings for 2-3weeks after my Lasik thus i was damn moody when i couldn't correct my eyesight. This was the 1st time ever that i felt so reluctant to go for training.. I wasnt in the mood for training at all.. Slack.. Thought i did wanted to try the stunts but i just couldnt do well.. Told them i'll do better next week.. I just need time to sort out alot of things.. Haiz..

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Things just magnified coz of small little misunderstandings.. So many things just arises unknowingly as time passes.. I merely want to solve the conflict btw us asap & not wanting to create more conflicts.. But why do some ppl think otherwise?

Recalling back our past.. its so sweet & innocent kinda bond.. How i wished i could turn back time.. My boy says maybe i just couldnt balance btw my cheermates & them. But did i?

I really mean no harm when i confide in people.. I just wanna let off my steam or unhappiness.. But maybe ppl get the wrong meaning that im trying to potray.. I hate to bottle things up in my heart & thats the reason why i will tends to tell ppl how i feel when im unhappy. It really will make me feel better after that..

Are things just so complicated or did i make the wrong step in telling my feelings??

Monday, December 18, 2006

Things that i bought while window shopping!! Did you see what i wrote?? WINDOW SHOPPING!! Shouldnt it be window shopping but why am i spending money?? Haha

My shoe size is 3 & yet i bought 2 pairs of slip ons today that isnt my size!! Lolx!

Left: (Size 4) Aiming it for very long.. Alittle loose though but i love it!!

Right: (Size 5) Comfy so bought it & giving myself an excuse to dump my not so old yet stinky & warm sandals!! Lolx!!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Usually i'll feel good after reaching home but not today.. I had brought home unhappy events that happened in school.. Sad.. Bf's working & im not working so my mind strayed.. Why the hell am i into this kinda shit??

Recalled that we were in the same class yet someone else is passing the msg from her to me or from me to her. What a group!! Wonder how are we going to continue our project with this kinda situation.. Haiz.. Gosh!! Getting into this mess is nothing more than trouble!!

Well, let's not talk about this anymore!!

Ytd before training, asked Tammi to give me ideas on my EWS.. Was getting bored after straining our brains so Tammi started using the glue glitters to draw on Yijun's thigh.. Yixun managed to find another 2 packets & we started drawing on Tammi & Yijun's limbs.. Before letting it dry, we started our training & get smudge by them accidentally or when doing stunts. 3 newbies ytd.. 2 of them are my cousins while 1 is my cousin's friend. Wow!! This is the 1st time ever that we got each a base.. Lolx.. Challenged with each other for the toss up shoulder sit & that's damn exciting!! Tried my extension & shoulder level Lib X, haiyo.. was not as good as before.. Maybe its due to the resting period that pull down my skills.. My shoulder sit was a mess too! Had 2 damn big bruise in my inner thigh that made my sitting position hurt.. Also dont know how i got the bruise that's on my inner thigh.. -_-"

Just before we wrapped up, Brad volunteered to be the flyer & when Yongshen tossed him up for the shoulder sit, he hit on his.. erm.. You know lah.. Lolx! That was real funny.. He sweared he would never try being the flyer again!! Enjoyed so much ytd.. Im just simply so much happier outside school and in cheerleading .. =)


Starting to hate school life.. Actually were supposed to have an interview with a manager today. But last minute someone was unhappy about me & raised her voice at me. She said i didn't disseminate the info on who to interview etc.. Saying its my responsibility to let others know what im doing.. WTF!! Dont u know what im doing?? I've also made my point when i told everyone who to interview & where! If u don't understand anything, cant u jolly well ask me?? Why must u wait till today?? Its been 2days since we decide on everything and now then u bring out the issue that i did not disseminate the info?? What the fuck r u talking about?? Besides, when did i ever say we ARE INTERVIEWING A DIRECTOR??? Im ASKING if we could interview a director. Cant u guys differentiate the difference?? Morever i've did mention that that THE MANAGER could not make it when we 1st decide on the day.

You asked won't it be tiring if u keep asking me this & that but have u ever spare a thought for me?? In order to make a suitable time for all of u, i gotta check with u guys & check with the manager & get back to u guys. Any changes i still gotta inform u all & wait for u to decide. Then did u guys ever get back to me on time?? I still gotta keep asking & asking till i get an answer.. Arent that more tiring??? You asked me to voiced out if im tired isnt it?? Well, i didnt coz i felt that im doing for the group & project sake. But then why dont u ask me what u dont understand??

U R the ones who want a reputable company, U R the ones who say developing manager is hard to interview, U R the ones who say will get back to me, U R the ones who say leave the selection of manager to me. Eveything was said by U GUYS.. "Director/Manager of which company?" "Developing manager also can lah coz our questions now can cater to different type of manager" "later i let u know" "aiya.. u decide which manager lor" Im put in so much effort & trying my very best to accomodate everything but what did i get in the end?? Bcoz of U GUYS, i gotta msg so many ppl to ask for help.. Bcoz of U GUYS, i gotta make myself busy msging so many of my friends to help!! Still i gotta get back to U GUYS to decide on the company & which manager U GUYS prefer. My doings were not appreciated yet got all this kinda rubbish!!

Whenever im unhappy with something, i'll just kept mum & everytime i'll tell myself its due to our age difference or somehow our thinking is different that makes the disagreement. But i realised i really could not take it any longer!! The hurt and everything is accumulating day after day & its getting more & more hurting!! I cried.. I really cried.. Real hard.. Did try to make my point but all i got was THAT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!! Ya, my responsibilty.. Then dont u play a part in the project?? Fortunately there's always someone who is there for me whom i can lend a crying shoulder.. Thanks to u guys.. Really appreciate it.. Im not someone who JUST DONT APPRECIATE people's kindness..

In fact is age really the barrier?? I doubt so.. I think its just pure mentality problem.. Or is it bcoz of miscommunication? Moral of the story.. Never be too kind as kind people usually doesnt get good return.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Saw Jack's (my ex bf) mum on my way to work then saw him with his gf when im working!! WTH!! Damn sway.. So lost the moment i see them.. My heart was racing.. Really dislike that kinda feeling.. Their 1st reaction was "Wah.. Sway leh.." WTF!! Im even more sway to have bumped into both mother & son! I acted non chalant though..

Told my colleague about us & she was telling me to smile to them & act generous.. This did cross my mind but i cant bring myself to do it.. Whenever i see him or them, it remind me of our past.. I was treated like a trash yet i treat him like a gem but now he is treated like a trash yet his gf is treated like a gem.. He did so many things to hurt me & used up my hard earned money & the WORST thing is.. he will lay his hands on me yet i still sticked with him for so many years.. I must have been blinded.. Also don't know what have i done wrong to get this kinda treatment..

The bad memories kept flashing through my mind.. I know i should be contented to have leave this kinda jerkass but sad to say, memories stays even though its bad.. Im glad im finally awaken after 3years of torture & found myself a loving bf who loves & stands by when that ass & gf make things difficult for me after the breakup.. Hee~ Honey~ You are just so great!!



After 2weeks of rest, i'm finally back to my training yesterday! Surprised that Tammi was here to train with us.. She always promised to come but MIA de.. Always don't keep her promise.. But anyway, Woo.. Her flying skills were still as good after slacking for so0o long.. Doudou was here with us too.. Once in a blue moon seniors joining us were really great!

Hee~ Tried new stunts-->Paper doll aka 180 degree turn & roller coaster. Fell so many times while doing the paper doll. Once Xiaodi did not manage to catch my foot & my chin hit directly on his head.. Ouch~ pain.. The rest were mostly my foot landed on the ground.. The impact were... shiok man!

After our training, we went to our "Lao Di Fang" to have our supper.. As usual, i'm not able to finish my food so Tammi & I ended up sharing a plate of Hor Fun.. Even though, we were both damn full!! Sigh~ Reached home around 11plus 12plus.. Tired.. My right leg was hurting after trying my cartwheel.. Think like Xun, i got injured while the trainings for performance.

Xun: I know you've waited very long for the Wushu competition & the promise to your friend but like i said, heal your leg 1st.. Your leg is more important than any other things.. With it heal, you can still join the next time round.. 1year isn't really that long.. If you hurt your leg forever, that's even worst right? Rest well & don'y strain it too much le.